Thursday, November 17, 2011

One and done

(Image by Gregor Schuster from Getty)

Yesterday, after utilizing their services for one year, I finally closed my eHarmony account. I can now officially say that I gave them a decent shot at trying to help me "find love." *blech* Sorry. The term "finding love" *blech* makes me gag.

I know what many of you are thinking, but, no, I'm not going to say the site is crap just because it didn't "work" for me. It is a decent dating service, albeit pricey. I got around the moolah issue by finding online discount codes which enabled me, for example, to get five months of membership for $34.80. Unfortunately, the place which offered such codes has apparently been discovered by eHarmony because their best coupons no longer work. (Aarggh!!)

One question I'm often asked is "Do you know anyone who's had success with eHarmony? If by "success" you mean a woman who married a guy who agreed to let her continue dating her girlfriend during their marriage which disintegrated shortly after they had a baby and resulted in them being permanently separated because neither could afford the financial aftermath of a divorce, then, yes, I do know someone. How about yourself?

Earlier this week, I sent my sister (who's also single) the following message concerning eHarmony:
It's amazing how much time something like that can waste, time that could be devoted to a cause a lot more pertinent... If the idea of marriage was completely removed from your life, what would you do with the time you had left? What would be your cause, your purpose? Chances are it's those things, those passions which so easily get brushed off to the sidelines of life when we become "involved" that will truly make life worth living...
Ironically, I've actually begun to thank God for my [singleness]. It's taught me how to see Him as my ultimate source in addition to giving me time to reflect on who I am and to resolve issues... that have haunted me for years... If I get married or not is not important. It would be nice, but, as I told Mom, life on this earth is so short. It will literally be over before I know it, so why not spend what brief moments that I have doing something that will ultimately leave a positive impact? This is the idea that keeps me going on most days... even the days when I feel like punching a coworker's lights out for being annoyingly giddy at 7 o'clock in the stupid morning.


  1. I think it's the luck of the draw. I know an ex-coworker who met her husband on Match. My best friend met her husband on eHarmony (they are actually on one of the ads), and they are doing great. They motivated my other best friend and I to try it out. It took me about seven months to find my boyfriend, and my other friend found hers through a friend. I think having your friends introduce you to to friends is a better option.

  2. I think that's a good attitude to have, whether married or single. Also with regards to the 'success' story you mentioned - yikes!!

  3. Congrats on realising that marriage is not something to waste time wanting. Many girls waste much of their life on pining for a husband when they could be out there changing the world - or changing the world for one person or more through sponsorship or volunteering or more. Singles can have a fulfilling, exciting, successful life without a man. And yes, I'd rather be married, but that's not going to stop me from fulfilling God's plan for this part of my life.

    I appreciate your thankful heart :)

  4. While I still want to find a great man, get married and have a family, I totally agree with what you said. I gave up the search and figure that love can come find me if and when it's good and ready. Why waste the time looking for something so elusive when I could be doing something more productive.